#gets along great with ryan cause i said so

[livfastdieyoung69]

can’t stop thinking ab johnny knoxville having a sibling thats a wrestler, like ecw star that later goes to wwe, and it’s just a running joke that the combination of their two very lovely parents somehow made the most terrible, violence seeking children possible

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

His Little Princess » TJ Hammond

Pairings: Best Friend!TJ Hammond x Best Friend/Mom!Female Reader with baby daughter Emma

Summary: TJ helps his girl best friend raise her daughter and she becomes his little princess.

Warnings: Fluff, language, cuteness overload, shitty ex boyfriend, absent father, nicknames/pet names

A/N: Thank you @buckys-wintersoldier for giving this adorable idea🩵

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

You stared down at the positive pregnancy test, tears of joy rolling down your cheeks. You heard the door open and close meaning that your boyfriend, Ryan, is home. You ran out of the bathroom and straight into his arms and kissed him passionately before he could announce that he’s home.

“That’s one hell of a way to welcome your boyfriend home from work.” Your boyfriend says with a smirk.

“I have great news!” You say happily.

“What is it?” He asks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I’m pregnant!” You tell him, showing him the pregnancy test.

His smile fell from his face, along with his arms leaving your waist.

“What?” He asks.

“I’m pregnant.” You repeated.

Ryan scoffs, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Are you keeping it?” He asks.

“Of course I’m going to keep it. Why would you even say that?” You asked.

“I don’t want a child out there who looks like me.” Ryan says.

“Wow, ok.” You scoffed and looked down. “Then I guess we’re over.” You say.

“Fine by me.” He says.

You put your shoes on and grabbed your purse and keys.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to get my things.” You say before walking out the door.

You stood outside TJ’s apartment, knocking on the door repeatedly until he opened the door. The look of concern was plastered on TJ’s face when he seen your eyes all red and teary.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” TJ asks, stepping aside to let you inside.

You didn’t say anything. You started crying again. TJ lead you to the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap and held you close to him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again.

You sniffled before looking up at him.

“I-I broke up with Ryan.” You say, your voice cracking.

“Did Ryan cheat on you? Did he hurt you? I swear if he did anything to you, I’ll beat his ass.” TJ says, protective mode taking over him.

“No he didn’t cheat on me or hurt me.” You say.

“Why are you so upset?” He asks.

You reached for your purse, taking the pregnancy test out of it and showed him.

“You’re pregnant?” TJ looks at you. “This is amazing! I’m so happy for you!” He says.

“Ryan doesn’t think so.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

“What do you mean?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“He said that he doesn’t want a child who looks like him.” You say, tearing up again.

“That’s a horrible thing to say. Bringing a baby into the world is a blessing.” He says.

TJ wanted nothing more than to beat Ryan’s ass for breaking your heart, but his first priority is to take care of you and your unborn baby.

“I can’t do this alone, TJ.” You say, your eyes teared up again and your lower lip quivered.

“You’re not going to do this alone cause I’m going to be right by your side through every single second of it.” He tells you.

“You mean that?” You asked, looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend and the most important person in my life. I’d do anything for you.” He says, making you smile.

“Thank you, TJ. That means a lot. I love you.” You say, hugging him.

“You’re welcome, cutie. I love you too.” He says with a smile and kissed the side of your head.

You and TJ sat in silence for a while as he continued to hold you.

“TJ?” You say.

“Yes, cutie?” TJ asks, looking down at you.

“Will you go to the doctors appointments with me? I don’t want to go alone.” You asked.

“Of course I will.” He says with a smile.

You called the next day to make a doctors appointment for an ultrasound. By the time the day of your doctors appointment came, you were nervous. You sat in the chair in the waiting room, bouncing your leg. TJ noticed and put a comforting hand on your knee.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” TJ says softly.

He moved his hand from your knee to your hand, holding it to calm your nerves.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” A nurse calls out.

You took a deep breath and stood up, walking towards the door with TJ following behind you. TJ held your hand during the whole ultrasound.

“How long have you two been together?” The nurse asks, trying to make conversation.

“Oh, we’re not together.” You say.

“I’m her supportive best friend and hopefully this baby’s favorite uncle.” TJ says with a smile.

The nurse smiles and prints out the ultrasound pictures for you and handed them to you.

“Congratulations, Miss. Y/L/N.” She smiles. “Just make an appointment with the receptionist on your way out and you’re good to go.” She says before walking out of the room.

You made an appointment on the way out and TJ took you back to his apartment. That was the start of an amazing journey for the both of you. Now here you guys 9 months later, you welcomed a baby girl named Emma into the world with TJ by your side every step of the way. TJ absolutely adores Emma. She quickly became his little princess.

9 months later…

You woke up to the sound of your baby girl crying around 3am. You rubbed your eyes and got out of bed to check on her. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion due to your tiredness when she stopped crying. You walked in her nursery to see TJ feeding her.

“Looks like you beat me to it.” You say.

“I figured you needed your beauty sleep after getting home from the hospital.” TJ says.

“Ok. Well, I’m going back to bed.” You tell him. “Goodnight.” You say.

“Goodnight, cutie.” He says.

You went back to your bedroom and laid back down. You drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face, knowing that TJ is to help you and your daughter. A few hours later, you woke up to the sun shining through the curtains. You stretched and rubbed your eyes before getting out of bed to check on Emma. You heard TJ’s voice in the living room. You walked in the living room to see TJ cradling Emma in his arms while he watched TV.

“Good morning.” You say, walking closer to them.

“Good morning, mama.” TJ smiles at you. “I’m introducing this little princess to the creative and funny world of cartoons.” He says.

“TJ, Emma is barely a week old. She doesn’t even know what a TV is.” You say.

“I know.” He carefully readjusted Emma in his arms. “But she hasn’t cried in a couple hours.” He says.

You couldn’t help but smile and give both of them kisses on their cheeks.

“I assume you already fed her so I’m going to make us breakfast.” You say.

“You’re going to sit down and hold your baby.” TJ carefully put Emma in your arms. “I’ll make us breakfast.” He says.

You giggled at your best friend and sat down on the couch with your baby girl in your arms. Emma looked up at you, making a cooing noise to get your attention when you’re already looking at her. You couldn’t help but smile at her.

“You’re just too cute for your own good, aren’t you?” You cooed, kissing her chubby cheek. “You’re the cutest baby ever.” You tell her. “I know all parents say that about their babies, but I have the cutest baby in the world.” You’re babbling in a high pitched baby voice, making Emma smile up at you. “You’re a mommy’s girl. Yes you are!” You say.

“No, she’s an uncle’s girl.” TJ chimes in, walking in the living room with a plate of your favorite breakfast food.

“Don’t turn my daughter against me, Hammond.” You say, playfully narrowing your eyes at him.

You gently laid Emma down in the bassinet next to the couch and took the plate from TJ’s hand.

“You made my favorite. You’re the best.” You say.

“This is why I’m your best friend.” TJ says with a smile.

You gave him a smile before giving your full attention to your daughter. You smiled down at her small sleeping form in your arms. You gently caressed the side of her head, gently rubbing your thumb against her chubby cheek.

“Emma has your beauty.” TJ says, sitting down next to you.

“Huh?” You asked, tearing your eyes away from Emma to look at TJ.

“I said she has your beauty.” He repeats.

You couldn’t help but blush uncontrollably. You looked back at Emma with a smile on your face.

“I hope she doesn’t look like her dad- Ryan as she gets older.” You say, correcting yourself.

“Don’t say his name. He doesn’t deserve any part of this. He’s the one who broke your heart and now he’s going to miss out on your beautiful little girl growing up.” He says.

“You’re right.” You say.

“We don’t need him.” He states. “All we need is this little princess, mommy, and uncle TJ.” He says.

TJ gently placed a soft kiss on her semi bald head and then gave you a kiss on your cheek. Emma shifted slightly and made a cooing noise that melted yours and TJ’s hearts.

“TJ…” You almost whisper and looked at him. “Thank you for staying by my side and helping me raise my daughter.” You say.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I’ll do anything for you. You’re my best friend and I love you. I’m more than happy to help you raise this little princess.” TJ says with a smile.

“I’m glad I have you.” You say, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“I’m glad I have you too.” He says, wrapping his arms around you.

Emma woke up, looking up at you and TJ with curiosity in her eyes and made a cooing noise at the two of you, making you guys smile down at the little bundle of joy in your arms.

“We’re glad we have you too, princess.” You and TJ say softly in unison.

🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

-Bucky’s Doll

[mrmeowziii]

Rodney- The big-hearted giant who loves a little too easy.

(I realized I forgot to post him. Oops, sorry buddy!)

Rodney Parker was born the third child of his parents, Daryl and Charlotte Parker. After initially deciding to settle with two kids, his mother changed her mind after deciding she wanted a girl- she wouldn’t get her wish though, giving birth to a not so little Rodney. He was so large in fact, the doctors didn’t believe he wasn’t a set of twins- despite the ultrasound- until the day of birth. As a baby he was rather mild mannered, but he was always hungry.

Rodney was very attached to his mother growing up. He’d definitely been more of a momma’s boy- until he couldn’t be anymore. Rodney’s emotional stability was thrown out of whack by his mother’s passing, and after a while of intense grief, Rodney coped by seeking that affection he missed from other sources. He grew very close to his brother Ryan, who was filling their mother’s role. When Richard pulled away, Ryan and Rodney teamed up to take care of everyone else. Rodney took the farm side of things, which had always been a strong suit for him. He took charge of his five little brothers (not an easy task) and lead them around the everyday farm chores quite well. His kind and patient personality was certainly helpful, as his family sure liked to fight… Though they all listened to him whenever he asked them to do something. If they needed time for themselves, he wouldn’t hesitate to allow them, especially Roy, who often spaced out at the site of their mom’s accident.

Rodney was a bit slow in school, and found it difficult to make friends- especially with girls. He was a little too puppy dog for most. He found a surprise interest in writing- specifically poetry, as he got older. His intense love swings would often fuel writings, though he could never work up the courage to give his loves said poems. For a long time his intense feelings were only directed towards women, but as an older teen this spread to men as well- and anyone else, really. Robbie blamed him for causing the younger punk to develop a similarly distorted sense of attraction.

At sixteen Rodney auditioned for Total Drama, something his family had varying reactions to. It wasn’t expected he’d actually get accepted, but… Well. His time on the island was short, but Rodney came to have a close bond with Ella and Topher during their time together at the new Playa Des Losers location. (Topher was the one who made him realize he liked men too.) Overall, it was a great experience for him, even if he might’ve come out a bit fried. Robbie and Rowan were embarrassed by his placement, while most of his family was just glad he was okay.

Rodney’s closest with his brother Ryan- who at least tried to give him some of the motherly love he’d always missed. Besides him, his younger brothers Ralphie and Ryder have always gotten along with him. He has no truly negative relationships with his family, though Rowan is most embarrassed by his ‘bumbling antics’.

In the future Rodney marries Ella and Topher and they have a few kids together. Rodney comes back to help on the farm every harvest, but he writes romance novels for a living besides that. He, Ella, and Topher are working on writing a musical and trying to pitch it to Broadway.

(Sorry for forgetting about the only character from the actual show, lol. Rodney’s a sweetheart. I honestly have no idea why I like him as much as I do, lol. Himbos for life.)

[slafkovskys]

tarnished ❈ a golden au blurb

summary: in which not all that glitters is gold

word count: < 1k

warnings: angst, brief language

maybe it would have hurt less if he had said goodbye.

that first summer together was supposed to be them. just them. without the pressures of school or hiding from scottie’s superiors or only being able to share kisses in dark corners of bars or the safety of their apartment. their two weeks in atlanta went by fast with one week in the city and another at her grandparents’ ranch, it was only a matter of time before the boys’ teams came calling for development camp.

ryan went first.

she kept up with everything the caps would post to their socials, feeding it through to the gopher’s various media outlets along with the other boys who were at development camps that week as well. she packs a bag and flies up to minnesota the day before he comes home and the day that jimmy’s due to report to st. louis. she hugs her parents goodbye and leaves them with the excuse of an event she was required to attend.

she spends a few hours with him at the apartment before shuttling him off to the airport, giving him the biggest hug and a kiss to his lips. she’s not really thinking about how he holds on a little bit longer or how he looks like he’s fighting a battle in his own head as he turns to check his bags. she gets back into ryan’s car thinking she’ll be back tomorrow to pick up the aforementioned man and she’ll be back for jimmy in a week.

it would have hurt less if they hadn’t found out through social media.

ryan and scottie were both practically itching to have jimmy back the next day. it had been practically radio silence from him the past week, which neither could hold against him because they both knew that this was big for him.

a summer storm was sweeping through minnesota and the two were squished in the hammock on their balcony when ryan’s phone lit up. scottie watches as the screen illuminated his face before his eyebrows furrowed, “what the fuck?”

“what’s wrong?” scottie turns her body to stare at ryan, watching as his face morphs through a variety of emotions, “ryan, what’s going on?”

“don’t-” and scottie wishes she had listened as she snatches his phone from his hand. her eyes scan over the same page that he was looking, the one that caused him to go through a handful of emotions within a matter of seconds.

what scottie sees on his phone screen makes her stomach churn. staring right back at her is jimmy’s smiling face flanked by either of his parents. in front of him is a stack of papers and she doesn’t miss the pen in his hand. her eyes trail up to read the caption,

jimmy snuggerud has agreed to terms on a three-year, entry-level contract. #stlblues

“did you know?” scottie’s voice shakes as she can’t tear her eyes away from the screen, “please don’t lie to me. is this some sick joke that you two are playing on me? did he say that he was staying just to go and do this?”

lightning flashes above their heads and thunder rolls through the sky as ryan quickly shakes his head, “scottie, baby, i’m finding this out right now, just like you are.”

“he-” she cuts herself off when a video pops up at the top of the feed. jimmy’s still smiling face takes up ryan’s phone screen once again, only this time he’s smiling at an unfamiliar woman who’s holding a microphone to his lips.

“so, jimmy,” her accented voice breaks through the night, “you originally said that you were going to be staying at minnesota for another year, but here you just signed your elc. what changed your mind?”

“yeah, um,” he scratches the back of his head like he always did when he was nervous, “just the atmosphere this past week, getting to explore the city some, having some talks with the guys, my family-” scottie can’t ignore the sting at those words, “i figured now was the best time. minnesota was great for me, but i feel like i’ve done what i can. nothing holding me there.”

she can’t stop the sob from escaping her lips and ryan rips his phone from her hands, quickly turning it off and gathering the girl in his arms, “he doesn’t mean that-”

“why would he say that then?” she questions, “did i mean nothing to him? did we mean nothing to him?”

ryan stays quiet because he can’t give her an honest answer. he feels as though he was just hit by a train, left exposed and still responsible for cleaning up the aftermath of someone else’s mess. he slips his hand underneath scottie’s shirt and rubs at her spine, trying to let him know that while he can’t explain what was happening, he was still here.

“scottie, it’s going to be okay. we’re going to be okay,” he tries, “we don’t need him-”

“everything is not okay, ryan!” she shouts through tears, “i need him because-”

it would have hurt less if-

“because i’m pregnant, ryan.”

[jasntodds]

Penance:

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don't care. It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? teaser | Chapter 1 coming May 31 tag list | series masterlist | full masterlist | listen to the full playlist on spotify

Playlist:

Penance - Holding Absence

"I am enough to feel happiness and love. It's hard to say out loud, "I deserve to be happy now". Well, I deserve to be happy now."

2. All That I Can Give - The Plot In You

"Stay for me. Wait for me. Bleed and break for me. I'll give the world somehow. (I won't let you down)."

3. On Purpose - Nurko, Rylan James

"So, I'm gonna love you on purpose and give you every piece of me and diving deeper than the surface cause all I ever wanna be is someone you can lean on when you feel alone. There is no distance that I wouldn't go. You can count on me to put the work in. I'll make mistakes, I won't be perfect but I'm gonna love you on purpose."

4. Broken Ones - Illenium, Anna Clendening

"Cause everyone falls so hard and everything falls apart. But we know we still got heart. Here's to the broken ones."

5. Please, Just Breathe - Written By Wolves

"Please, just breathe. I think I saw a look in your eye the last time that we spoke and you said goodbye. It's been stuck on repeat in my mind."

6. Only Us - DYLN

"There is only us, no one else. I keep your head above the water. You make my fears get smaller. There is only us, nothing else."

7. Another You - Of Mice & Men

"Say anything, say anything. Say anything that can make this all okay. Take it away, take it away. Take away all of this emptiness I feel cause I will never find another, I may never find myself. I will never find another you."

8. Celebration Song - Holding Absence

"I know that years from now when my final flame runs out, I'll be a grain of sand running through a stranger's hand but right now I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive, I lived to see today. I lost so much along the way and that's fine cause I'm alive. I've been so hurt for so long."

9. Somebody's Someone - Ryan Carter

"All I ever wanted to know was what it feels like to be somebody's everything like you were to me. Give me half of you. You took all of me. You took everything."

10. In A Perfect World - Dean Lewis, Julia Michaels

"Baby, I said it, you're so scared of regretting something before you can even regret it and we could be great, and it would be great if you'd let it but you leave when it gets too good. You (I) leave when it gets too good. In a perfect world, I am here with you and I kiss you slow in a dim lit room. When you ask me if I love you, I say, "I do". I'm not running from my problems, and I'm not running from you."

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thoughts on Taskmaster s18e08, written as I watch it:

- Babatunde's got me with the commitment to the bit there. Even one moment of explaining that paper plate would have ruined it. With no explanation... I mean, it's lazy and low effort. But not a bad idea, given the remit. I can see why he didn't want to go first.

- It's the detail of Andy's prizes that gets to me. The amount of detail is great, and has been all the way along. He could have just thought of the idea for an aftershave made of mosquito bites, told the production team to make a sign or something that says this, and been done with it. But he came up with an actual way to distill the sensation of mosquito bites, using their saliva. And then put all kinds of extra jokes on the packaging, calling it "malaria-free" and things. And, along with the extra jokes, added extra stuff that makes it fit the prize task remit even better, since the task said something that makes Greg scratch his chin, so Andy added packaging that says this thing is specifically for Greg Davies. And, with this being Andy Zaltzman, obviously he had to throw in a lie that's there for absolutely no reason, calling Greg the 2019 Wimbeldon champion. And threw in a pun, Mosquit-eau. A ludicrously literal interpretation of an instruction, a lie, a pun, unnecessary detail. A very Andy Zaltzman prize.

- Jack explained the only chin-scratching bit of his prize, exactly what would have ruined it for Babatunde. And that has ruined it for Jack.

- So Emma had the same basic idea as Andy, go physical and literal, but she called it "fake chin acne", and fake acne won't make anyone scratch. For a start, she should have just called it "chin acne". Also, scratching acne is quite painful, no one's going to do that for long.

- Everyone has gone very on-brand with this prize task, haven't they? Babatunde does something extremely low-effort but with a decent justification. Emma does something clever but the cleverness falls apart a bit in the execution. Jack is kind of annoying. Andy goes with an unnecessarily detailed literal interpretation, with a pun and a lie thrown in. And Rosie made a sex joke. Well done, everyone.

- I agree with most of that scoring but Andy should have had five. Greg answered Rosie's question almost immediately, that's hardly a cause of chin scratching.

- Hey Alex, how about you leave Andy and his helmet alone? I don't see you being concerned about concussion safety out there.

- Puzzles are fun and all, but I think it would be quite funny if this task were just who can do best on a basic eye test. It would be a creative way to discriminate against disability, but not Rosie Jones'.

- This probably isn't the answer, but I'm not sure how Emma found the word "cheesed" and didn't immediately go into the kitchen to check the cheese. I'd at least have a look there.

- I was surprised that Emma and Baba got grouped on a puzzle task, as they tend to do things very differently from each other. But I see they both found the second clue in on-brand ways. Emma figured out the clue that it's written backwards, Baba wandered around the house and stumbled upon it.

- I speak French quite well, not fluently but I did ten years of French immersion in school and live in a place with a lot of Francophones so I hear it spoken a lot, and I don't know what "socle" means. That's a hard word to put in there for them. Especially since it's the most important word, as without it the clue just tells them to look inside something, and that could be anything. You can't guess the last word from context.

It's also not the most fair clue, as it doesn't really reward creative or intelligent thinking, just whoever happened to study that language in school.

- So, what are the rules with phones? Katherine Ryan has done this before, when she called Sofie Hagan to translate Swedish in season 2. Obviously, Katherine could have just brought up Google translate on that phone. Baba's pulling out his phone, using it to call Eddie Kadi, instead of just translating it online. And obviously there are lots of other times throughout many other tasks when a phone would be helpful, for internet or for other things, and they don't normally use it because that's not in the spirit of the game. Ed Gamble sometimes mentions on the podcast that using phones isn't in the spirit of the game, even though Ed is one of the few people who has used a phone in a task, when he took pictures of the canvas, to his great advantage in a drawing task once.

Anyway, have they been told that they're allowed to take phones out, but only if they call other comedians to translate foreign languages? Or to ask their agent to get them out of a field, obviously.

- Okay, it's pretty funny to listen to Babatunde try to pronounce French words. Slightly annoying clue, worth it for that.

- Well, I paused the video, wrote that whole point about cell phone used, played the video, paused it again to make fun of Baba's inability to speak French, played the video, and saw Emma just Googling it. So Baba could have done that too, he just chose to call his friend instead. I mean, obviously, in the real world, I understand why he did that. It's funnier to call another comedian than to Google it. But in the context of the game, Googling is faster, Baba's made an error.

- Oh, base. Well I wouldn't have got that. No one knows that word. I know plenty of Francophones and I bet lots of them don't know that word.

- Oh dear. Greg has just said that Emma and Baba were grouped because they both found the special glasses, and Andy and Rosie are next. This wouldn't be the first task where Andy just gives up without solving it. Tell me he doesn't do that here. We're getting late in the season now, with Andy going into this episode only a few points behind first place. A high-scoring episode eight could pull him into the lead with only two episodes left. A low-scoring episode eight would be hard to come back from. Come on, Andy. Surely you understand some French. You created an entire cryptic crossword, you can read backwards.

- In the first task where Andy gave up completely, he put his hand almost into his pocket right at the beginning, and then proceeded to not find the locket in there by the end. In this one, he has nearly taken the top off that thing right at the beginning, and then didn't. Please do not have this be another "You almost got it right away but then failed completely".

- God damn it, Andy. Just open the thing up.

- I like Rosie trying her hands as circles to be glasses. It's worth a shot.

- And they've got it! Oh my God, that was unnecessarily stressful. Come on, guys. I'd have been furious if Andy had missed that. I mean I'm glad Rosie found it too, I'm just at this point invested in the idea that Andy could win the season. Much less likely for Rosie.

- "It depends on your attitude to flamingos." Andy saying that has reminded me: Alice Fraser is currently in that weird limbo that all Australian comedians seem to do eventually, where she's maybe sort of moved to the UK but hasn't quite done it yet. Meaning she's probably eligible for the UK or AU versions. I'd be happy to have her on either. Having worked with Alice for so long, Andy is, of course, quite familiar with varying attitudes toward flamingos.

- It was funny for them to show the attempts in that order. If we'd seen Andy and Rosie first, then Emma and Baba would have looked very stupid, taking all those clues to find what was obviously right next to them. But because we saw Emma and Baba first, they seemed reasonable at the time, and then Andy and Rosie recontextualized them to make all the other clues seem silly. Good editing decision, that order.

- Hey, Alex managed a bit of French! He did private school and then Cambridge, you'd think he could manage one French sentence.

- Okay, we need Jack to fuck this up here, as he's leading with the points. I'd love for Andy to win the season, I'd also really like for anyone to beat Jack, as I dislike him and just don't want to see more of him. He's been isolated because he was very fast or very slow, let's hope for the latter.

- Oh, bullshit. First of all, I don't like Alex helping Jack once again. He's been helping Jack a lot throughout this season - I thought I was imagining it at first because I don't like Jack, but Ed's been pointing it out on the podcast too. And it makes sense, as Alex had wanted Jack on the show for ages. Stoic, "all the information is on the task" Alex, giving Jack a look when Jack said the glasses might be in the lab. And it still didn't help.

Anyway, bullshit. The task said "the special glasses". Not some, the. The ones that Alex intended. If you could use just any special glasses, even if they're not technically glasses (because things Jack found were goggles), then they should accept the other contestants using their fingers or the eye test thing.

I've not seen the post-task studio bit yet, that is just my opinion on the task itself. I'll be annoyed if they allow this.

- Thank you, Emma. Those are goggles. Not glasses.

- Thank you, Greg! I'm fine with the sympathy point, fair enough. One could definitely argue that Alex screwed Jack over there by stopping the clock when he hadn't completed the task, and if Alex had given Jack more time, he'd have found the real glasses eventually. Oddly, in this case, Alex's sycophantic attitude toward Jack worked against Jack, as Alex just sees anything Jack does and says "Yeah, cool, you're great." So fine, give him one point with the assumption that he'd have completed the task at some point.

- Adorable that Emma heard the whistle and immediately started running toward the task. She's great for this show.

- I 100% believe that Emma Sidi dreams about admin, and Andy Zaltzman dreams about running Olympic events while riding animals.

- Okay, that's fucking funny. By setting a task that penalizes those who speak faster, they managed to find a way to discriminate against the four non-Rosie contestants, for not having cerebral palsy. Well done.

- My pedantic thought #1: It says they can move to the next barrel after completing a challenge, it doesn't say they have to go in one direction or the other, they could go from 1 to 9 and then stop. Pedantic thought #2: it says they can only move to "the next barrel" after completing a challenge, it doesn't say there are any restrictions on when they can move to the barrel after that one, or after that one, or any barrel besides the next one.

- When Emma began her explanation of bed socks with the words "when women...", I immediately pictured various things she might say next - she's very young for menopause (I fucking hope so as I think she's my age), but there are certain points in a menstrual cycle when body temperature regulation can fluctuate wildly, there are various reasons why cis women might be more likely than cis men to need to frequently switch between socks and bare feet. I... I assumed she'd say something about that. Was extremely caught off guard by what she actually said. Well done to Emma, Greg, and Alex for all being quite comedically quick in the scene that followed, that was very funny, but... I mean, it didn't answer the question. Is that real? I'd never heard of that.

- "Lobsters are biologically immortal" is a Zaltzman-level lie. Rosie, you've fallen for a Zaltzman-level lie.

- Ah, I see how this task works. One of those ones where you're best off just getting somewhere, I probably wouldn't try for going past five, and then quitting while you're ahead. The penalties for fucking it up when you try to go farther are too great, going back to the beginning for two mistakes or getting disqualified for an even-numbered barrel.

- And just after I wrote that, Rosie did exactly what I thought, got to barrel 5 and stopped. Good job.

- God, it is adorable how eager Emma is on these. I like how she leans forward, in the task and in the studio, when she's really into something. Jumping to the next barrel without waiting to hear how the question went. Emma Sidi is not here to fuck around.

- "Predict which hand Alex's whistle is in - your right!" Yelling that at Alex before he even put the whistle in in a hand. She's great. She and I shall have a spring wedding. Or whatever season she wants, really, I'll leave it up to her.

- Oh she's done so well but she's flying too close to the sun! Slow down, Emma!

- ...And right after I wrote that, back to the beginning. Especially disappointing as she messed up on the coin, which she could have easily got right if she'd taken half a second to think. Like with the dice, it does not say they can't just carefully put it down with the side they want on top. But that is Emma in this whole season, very eager and very clever, but mistakes in the execution.

- Oh my God, Emma. Nearly disqualified from a task for thinking that lobsters are biologically immortal. Amazing. That was great fun and also unnecessarily stressful. But she scraped by to three.

- Well, Andy and Jack have been grouped. That probably means they did similarly well, so either way, neither's pulling significantly ahead of the other in points on this one.

- And yep, that went exactly how I said. There were multiple bits there where I thought Andy was flying too close to the sun, but I shouldn't have doubted his ability to work out how a lemon feels. You live to fight another day, Zaltor.

- Hot dog! Hot dog time! Hot dog on Emma, so Andy's the only one who's still saving it. I've still got my theory that Andy's going to use it in the studio.

- It would be funny if just once, they gave out a task like this one, that's obviously part one to a larger task, and then that turned out to be the whole thing. They're all trying to work out what to label and what noise to make and stuff, according to what will be most useful in the main task. And then Alex just stops the clock and Greg judges them on who made the best noise.

- Andy. Andy, who are you? TV's changed you. You are a respected satirist, Andrew. And now you have labelled your balls. Well done.

- And Emma immediately assumed this task will be exactly what I just suggested it might be, as a joke. That that was the entire task. She's great. We can get married in the winter, if she wants to.

- And now he has to label his balls over and over.

- Okay, so I'm at my parents' place at the moment, and my dad's just come in and said he'll watch the last bit of the episode with me. So I'm going to stop pausing it to write stuff down every few seconds, and just post this now and watch the rest right through. I hope everyone's having a good time.

[witchthewriter]

𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐑𝐡𝐞𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐲 & 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: swears

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

gif credit: @rebecca-quin.

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・You had been taking Barbie to see the new toys in your closest mall. She instantly went to the doll section, where there were many Barbies (that made her nostalgic) lining the aisles.

"Oh! They've come out with a new one! Oh we so have to show Mami this one-" Barbie said as she took a box from the shelf and showed it to you.

・The box said in big purple letters: 'Barbie as a wrestler!' And it had her alter identity - a purple wig with make-up you could add onto her, it also came with the championship belt along with other accessories.

・Both of you were excited out of your minds, and couldn't wait to send a photo to Rhea

・Rhea was currently in another state, probably in the gym. You both went to as many matches as possible, but sometimes Rhea had to travel just to film scenes

・And yes, you both call Rhea, 'Mami,' it's like a proper nickname. Any weirdness has been erased from it

・Barbie cries while watching nearly every movie - even lighthearted ones.

・When your relationship was first beginning to solidify, Barbie said that she wanted to experience the whole of being a human. (Even though you shook your head).

・To Rhea, that meant taking Barbie on every rollercoaster???

・To you, it meant a lot of sightseeing and listening to people's stories and histories.

・You three like to travel together; Rhea always has everyone's luggage under control, you have everyone's passports, and Barbie makes sure everyone has sunscreen on/has drunk water/gone to the toilet

・You honestly make a great team

・And although Barbie could be thought of as a stereotypical dumb blonde who is inexperienced and a lost puppy - it's far from the truth. She's a quick learner, very kind, open-minded and adores animals.

・It was actually Rhea who put a stop to Barbie's endless adoptions. Because she would save animals who were due to be put down because no one wanted them. But she got too emotional when they got hurt or had to go to the vet (she gets attached to things very easily).

・Dom is a tad jealous of the relationship you have with Rhea. But again, you and Barbie let him fawn all over her during the WWE episodes.

・He's a pretty cool guy though, and has invited you to a few of the WWE parties

・Finn is polite, but doesn't really talk to you guys much. Damien is different though, he's very inclusive and loves seeing you two with Rhea.

・He calls you and Barbie his "best girls!"

・So, all in all, Judgement Day approves of you - not like Rhea would care if they didn't (they would not go against her ... ever)

・Barbie is a nose booper

・Rhea was actually the first person to say "I love you"

・Barbie has bandaids on her ALWAYS

・You try and keep your relationship on the DL when in public - for many reasons actually. Rhea has fans, and you don't want to bring too much attention to the fact that Rhea and Dom aren't actually together. And you don't want attention from the public - Barbie definitely doesn't. The thought actually causes her to hyperventilate.

・You and Barbie have scary dog privilege with Rhea - no one fucks with you.

・Rhea actually hates being in small areas - she's a bit claustrophobic

・You and Rhea let Barbie practice make up on you. She's ... getting better at it ...

・You're the blanket hog btw - Barbie and Rhea always whine when you roll up in the blanket

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Style (cover) by Ryan Adams

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Black Cat (You) x Golden Retriever (Barbie) x Doberman (Rhea)

The Impulsive (Rhea) x The Chaotic (You) x The Unheeded Voice of Reason (Barbie - surprisingly)

Makes A Mess (Rhea) x Cleans The Mess (You) x Is A Mess (Barbie)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆  

Secret Dating

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 🔞 no one under 18 past this point!

・It took a while for all three of you to figure out how sex was going to play out

・It took Barbie a while to understand her own body, so neither you or Rhea pushed her. You were both patient in letting her discover herself.

・But Barbie knew she liked women...

・A lot

・When entering the human world and deciding to stay, Barbie's body changed. So she does have a vagina

・And she very much likes to receive head. That's one of the things she's adamant about liking. She may still be discovering things - but Barbie loves head

・Rhea is a dominant person, but also likes to be dominated. Ironically, Barbie really likes to dominate and you're a big switch.

・Barbie likes to sit on Rhea's lap and nuzzle into her cleavage - pretty much making her a boobs gal, but she does like to check out your ass's every now and then

・Rhea is ass over boobs, it's why hers is so ... supple

・The bedroom is the best place to do sexual things as a throuple

・You guys have tried the shower (someone always got too cold), the bath (not all of you fit), the car (same thing - it was too difficult to manuever), toilet stall in the airport (way too sus with three people)

・So it's the best at home, where you have a lot of space to move

・Barbie makes very sexy moans; when she's about to cum, she makes a loud whine that is the prettiest noise

・Rhea LOVES dirty talk

"Whose in charge?" You growl in Rhea's ear as Barbie grabs and kneads Rhea's ass

"You are," she rasps

[boytickler35]

Foot Friends Part 1

Art by KingofFeathers

“Welcome Foot Friends and today I have a treat for you.” 

Ryan starts his recording with the camera facing himself as he addresses his viewers before panning the camera around the basement to Justin and Zach, locked in a pair of stocks, their sneakers hanging up behind them.

“That's right your eyes do not deceive you, it is Liberty High’s top heartthrobs and members of the state winning football team. you may be asking yourself how exactly I managed to get these two into my stocks. As it turns out Justin here comes pretty cheap but he's shy and talked his buddy into coming with him so today instead of the usual content we do, you are all in for a treat. For those of you hoping to hear all about these two and their feet, you are also in luck because we are going to start out with an interview, which is where we will start now. So, Justin, what made you decide to surrender your straight, jock boy feet to me? What could you possibly need the money for so badly?”

Ryan enjoys watching him squirm before he hears the reply, “I needed money for a date, couldn’t get it any other way.”

It sounds like a lie, something in Justin’s voice tells him the jock isn’t being truthful but Ryan doesn’t really care. A desperate straight boy makes for decent enough questions and Ryan still has to keep the conversation going for a bit longer. Anyway, he had always wanted to get to question Justin Foley about his feet.

“How do you think she’d feel knowing the money you’re spending on her was earned by having a gay guy tickle those big feet?”

“She isn’t going to find out so it doesn’t matter.”

Ryan can’t help a smirk as he thinks of Jess Davis’s reaction to any of this but decides to shift and ask his other guest a few questions.

“And how do you, Zach, feel about being here? What could Justin have possibly said to make you want to come along for this?”

“Oh.” Zach somehow looks surprised to be addressed as if he somehow thought Ryan wouldn’t talk to him. “Justin is a great friend and would have done the same for me.”

The overwhelming nervous energy coming from the Asian boy is almost entertaining as Ryan moves on to the last question. “What is the strongest experience you can recall with tickling?”

Neither of the jocks respond for a moment and he can see whatever passes for thinking from them before a smile creeps onto Justin’s face and Ryan is given an unnecessary reminder of the reason for his long time crush on the handsome boy. “I dunno if this is what you’re looking for but there’s a towel at Bryce’s that is like, really fluffy and whenever I use it, it drives me mad. Drying my feet off is impossible cause I’m giggling too much.”

It’s not at all what he expected but also one of the dumbest, and hottest, things he’s ever heard. The idea of Liberty’s star wide receiver unable to handle a towel is comedy.

“Well, I promise I am a lot worse than a towel so I hope you boys are ready to get destroyed.” 

His fingers make contact with the feet and he is pleasantly shocked. He had been afraid their feet would have been hard from football playing but both are soft, Zach’s silky smooth and Justin’s a little less so but plush under his fingers.

It turns out both are comically ticklish as well with the light strokes causing their feet to try flinching away from the tickling and soft giggles to fall from their mouth. Justin seems worse which surprises him. He expected both to be made of sterner stuff but Justin is supposed to be from a pretty rough neighborhood but his feet are shockingly soft and very receptive to Ryan’s probing. Zach’s are too, but he seems a little better at keeping it together.

He plays around for a bit teasing them lightly as he does, “My viewers love nothing more than seeing a pair of straight boy feet walk their way into my stocks, and today they get that but double!”

Between giggles, the pair manage a bit of protest but Ryan isn’t really listening, he’s too busy enjoying the power he has over them for the moment and he has already wasted enough time talking to them. Now, his fingers switch from scratching to a fluttering motion over both soles, driving both of them wild. He continues for a bit exploring their feet with his hands.

As it turns out, Justin is stupidly ticklish everywhere from heels to toes. It takes basically no effort to get him giggling and it isn’t much harder to turn those giggles into full laughter. Zach is a little harder at first. He giggles like Justin, his massive soles seem to be a treasure trove of nerves, but unlike Justin, he is harder to get laughing. Ryan can do it, he discovers, but it requires toys. 

Ryan is all too happy to bring those out anyway, he may not have told the pair he would be using tools on their feet… but he doesn’t really care. Straight boy feet, especially teasing straight boy feet like Justin’s, deserve every bit of tickling punishment Ryan can eek out.

Feathers are classics that don’t work on many guys, so he decides to start there. As it turns out, they are more effective on these two than they are on most people because it gets Justin giggling again, the cutest sound Ryan has heard in a long time. More fun, he gets to watch Zach, less affected by the feather, try to protect Justin's feet with his own, tilting his ankles to try to cover his buddy’s helplessly ticklish soles and honestly, if that isn’t love, Ryan isn’t sure what is.

It quickly comes back to bite Zach cause while Ryan is willing to indulge his tickle toys a bit, his feather ends up finding Zach’s toes, an otherwise untickled spot so far. It turns out Zach can’t handle that and Ryan decides to file that info away for a bit later and focus on wrecking them jointly for a bit longer.

He takes a deep breath and leans down to the center of Justin’s sole and blows a fat raspberry. The two things he notices are that one, Justin can’t handle it if the almost silent laughter is anything to go by, and two, his feet taste a bit sweet, a bit salty, and Ryan would love a worship session with them… but tickling is just too much fun. Zach’s feet don’t hold up any better against the raspberries either and Ryan spends a few minutes alternating between the sets of feet.

Ryan decides to move in for the kill on Zach. He was really thinking Justin would crack first but damn are Zach’s toes insanely ticklish. He brings the brush up and uses its delicate bristles on the equally delicate skin under Zach’s toes. It’s so satisfying to completely break the tall, handsome jock with so little effort and he can’t help cooing at the suffering teen.

As much as he would like to drag out the anticipation, he is also eager to fully break him and so brings the bristles up to the pads of Zach’s toes. He couldn’t have hoped for better results as Zach’s laughter jumps an octave with the tickling and Justin, previously lost in his own tickle torture takes notice by cracking an eye open. Ryan loves a captive audience, letting Justin stew in his own impending fate. But right now he has Zach to concentrate on as he moves the brush in a circular pattern over the large toe pad. He almost regrets keeping Zach’s feet so far apart so it’s difficult to tickle both at the same time but a glance up shows him that Zach is clutching Justin tightly as tears form in the corners of his eyes. It’s maybe the most beautiful thing Ryan has ever seen.

He presses for about two minutes, turning Zach more or less into putty in his stocks and then says, “Who’s my tickle bitch?”

Without hesitating, Zach laughs back, “MeHEheEhe!”

“It is you isn’t it? A silly little giggle bitch. Who has big ticklish jock boy feet?”

“MeHEhEHE!”

“Good, and who owns these feet?”

“YohOhoHoU!”

“Glad we can agree on that. Now Justin, let's get on to you.”

Watching those adorable, bubbly toes clench is true magic and he decides to pull out his last trick of the night, something he is certain will absolutely wreck his longest running man crush and his pretty feet.

Reaching under where the boys can see, he pulls out an electric toothbrush and holds it up. Justin’s face pales a bit under the redness. He flicks it on dramatically and goes for Justin’s toes knowing it won’t break him, just yet, but it does have him laughing madly. He keeps Zach busy too by teasing his toes, just with fingers, but fingers is all it takes on those soles.

However, all good things need to end and Justin is flagging from the constant tickling and Ryan doesn’t want to mar his victory by having an exhausted Justin capitulate, so now is the time. He moves the buzzing toothbrush  to the center of Justin’s arch and lets the sparks fly. The jock can’t handle it and that makes Ryan especially pleased and he doesn’t give Justin the out as fast as he gave it to Zach, preferring to savor the squeaks and squeals mingled with hysterical laughter for a bit.

Eventually though he says, “Who has big silly jock boy feet?”

Justin doesn’t reply and Ryan gets his dream interaction, a stubborn jock holding out and letting Ryan tickle his feet more. “Stubborn are we? It isn’t a secret, you know. Just tell me what I want to hear.”

Justin doesn’t and Ryan goes so far as to remove his hand tickling Zach and move it to Justin’s other foot, causing the other boy’s laughter to rise another octave. Still, the handsome boy refuses to give in and Zach, after catching his breath, says, “Just do it.”

Justin hold out about a minute longer before finally laughing, “MehEHEHe!”

“Good boy,” Ryan purrs, “now tell me you love having these big, teasing feet punished.”

Another moment of hesitation but Ryan takes a deep breath and blows out another raspberry on the silky soles causing Justin to bumble out the phrase and Ryan drinks in the lovely sound of total defeat before pressing with the final question.

“And who owns these big, ticklish feet?”

“YoUHOhOu!”

Ryan purrs again at the reply and keeps tickling. Zach jumps in and says, “Hey, he said what you wanted.” Deciding to ignore the other athlete, Ryan focuses for another minute or two on the captive jock but eventually, the end has to come.

Ryan’s sad to release them from the stocks but takes pleasure in knowing this isn’t totally over yet. There is the post tickling interview and then the behind the scenes part. For a moment, he leaves them alone though, they shift, resting their massive feet on the top of the stocks and don’t make any moves, Justin is still fully leaning on Zach’s chest and Zach still has an arm around Justin’s abdomen, holding onto him. Both of them have their eyes closed, their faces still red. They’re cute, if only they were gay.

“What was the worst part?”

“Can I say all of it?” Justin responds without opening his eyes.

“I’m surprised, I wouldn’t have guessed your feet were so ticklish, surely all of that football training should have toughened them up.”

He watches the bubbly toes curl a bit at the insult and adds on, “You know Justin. In terms of my tickle list, your name is at the top. You’ve been a naughty little tease.”

That get’s Justin to crack an eye open as he peers at Ryan in confusion. “What?”

“Don’t play innocent with me, I’ve been watching you during math, always popping your heels out of your sneakers, giving more than a few good looks at those well worn socks, I can see the pinkness of your heel through them! You must have known you’d attract my attention.”

Justin turns the most adorable shade of pink and rubs one foot against the other. Zach’s eyes are wide open now too and very alarmed looking.

Ryan smirks and says, “If you make them look any cuter I’ll lock them right back up and give them another tickling, you little tease.”

The shock in the pale blue eyes is amazing and Justin really might be Liberty’s cutest boy but he does have another guest and once again, Justin’s natural charisma is outshining Zach.

“What about you, bigfoot? Where are those stompers most sensitive?”

Zach blushes and examines his feet before saying, “I think my toes.”

“I’d say so, all I had to do was look at them and you started giggling.” Turning the camera back to himself, he addresses the watchers again, “And there you have it folks, Liberty’s greatest dreamboats reduced to a pair of ticklish teenage boys for your pleasure and mine. Hope you enjoyed it, and see you next time.” With that, he ends the stream and looks back at the pair who have finally shifted, Justin stands, Zach stretches.

“We’re almost done, but I believe I’m owed trophies.”

The pair look at him in a combination of surprise and confusion but Ryan goes over to a case in the middle of the room and pulls the cover off to reveal a trophy case with different sneakers and tickle tools in it.

A look of embarrassed horror comes over their faces as Ryan opens up a large section and says, “I believe those sneakers would look perfect next to each other, just like you two were.”

“Ryan-”

Justin tries to protest but Ryan cuts him off. “I won’t send you home barefoot, now put them in here.”

There is something incredibly satisfying about seeing two of the top jocks in the school walking barefoot over to the hooks to retrieve their sneakers and then returning to the trophy case before dropping them in.

“Boys, don’t be spoiled-sports, put them in nicely. Show my new trophies some respect.

There is a bit of grumbling as they rearrange them nicely. Ryan lets him keep their socks, if it had been their baby blue Liberty tube socks, you can bet he would be displaying them, but since they’re regular, he doesn’t mind letting them get away. He admires for a moment, plans to turn one of Justin’s sneakers on its side, maybe angle one of Zach’s sneakers out… decisions, decisions. 

“And I think the conquering weapon as well? What do you think Justin? Zach’s was obviously that brush under his toes but you had a lot of trouble with a few tools.”

Watching Justin rub one foot awkwardly on the floor as Ryan makes him relive the tickle horror he just went through is nothing short of delicious, especially to contemplate what destroyed his feet the most. 

“I think…” he hesitates and Ryan loves how much thought he is putting into this because he could just lie and deprive Ryan of his fun, but instead he is seriously thinking about it. The only thing that would make it better is if Ryan could hear those thoughts.

“The tooth brushes I think.”

“I agree, I didn’t think a jock could squeal like that.”

Ryan decides the pair are cute blushing, and honestly they should have been gay. “Well as much as I would like to keep you boys here longer, I’m sure you need to go shout about manliness and jockhood somewhere so I’ll let you go.” He reaches down into a box under the display and pulls out two sets of slides, brand new, and says, “But let's make sure you don’t go out barefoot. It would be a shame to damage the goods like that.”

His smirk returns as he sees the scarlet blush heat up both their faces when they get a look at the slides, plain black at first glance but on the strap is the logo of his page, the Foot Friends, a pair of Fs with feathers.

There is a hint of disgust on Justin’s face as he slides his feet into them which melts to bliss, the same expression on Zach’s face as he steps into them. Ryan smirks. “Comfy aren’t they?”

“Yea, never felt such a cushy sole,” Zach comments dreamily. 

Ryan’s smirk widens as he says, “Perfect for silly jock boy feet.”

Both blush at that and basically get out of the room as fast as they can. Ryan gazes at the trophy case, excited at the prospect of getting his hands on them again.

13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW13RW

As they get into the car, Justin buckles his seat belt and says, “Well?”

Zach squirms and replies, “It was- everything I hoped for, I think.”

“You think?”

“I- could have done without having my sneakers taken.” He looks down at the stupid slides he’s wearing and blushes because he hates it… but he also loves it, and all of the other humiliating extras Ryan tagged on. “But thanks. For coming.”

Justin shrugs as he leans back in the seat, eyes closed, and says, “I got you bro, you know that. Besides, I needed the money for rent, so it worked out for me anyway.”

Zach lets out a sigh of relief as he starts the engine. A long time fantasy of his has been crossed off the bucket list and that’s kind of a relief but…

“What would you say if I said I might want to do it again?”

Justin cracks an eye and replies, “I mean… Ryan is kind of a douche. If he said one more thing at the end, I might have punched him. But if you really want to and don’t want to go alone, you know I’ll come with you.”

“But you won’t be happy about it.” He’s a little disappointed at the response and hesitantly probes, “You didn’t enjoy it even a bit?”

Justin shrugs. “Those sneakers were small but now I only have one pair and they’re really worn out. Plus Ryan sucks.”

“Yea…”

Zach lets it drop as he pulls out but at a light it dawns on him. “You didn’t say you didn’t like getting tickled.”

Justin glances down at his feet and shrugs. “Laughing is nice. Feels like I haven’t had a reason to lately. But I didn’t like how Ryan kept looking at us… like we were meat. It was gross.”

“Hmm.” Zach lets it drop. He doesn’t want to annoy Justin, not after the other boy decided to subject himself to that humiliation with him just because Zach asked him to. But he does wonder if maybe there is a world where he can get tickled more… and maybe get Justin more involved too.

[officeshelpdesk]

It's 10 am, my stomach hurts, and I'm mad about the police!

Y'all ever hear of Ryan Wingo? Because I sure hadn't a couple of hours ago but holy shit do I hate this pig now

This is Ryan Wingo, we will talk about when this photo was taken a little bit later. Ryan Wingo has worked for the Arkansas State Police for around 7 years. A more impartial writer would describe his career as controversial. As I am not impartial, Ryan Wingo is an itty bitty bitch baby who gets off on abusing his power and harassing people!

Let's do a timeline of 3 separate stories!

In 2020, Arkansas Attorney Don Cook was at the Arkansas capitol for a BLM protest shortly after the death of George Floyd. The Arkansas state troopers had been called in by the government for crowd control, including one Ryan Wingo. The crowd of protesters was ordered by the troopers to disperse; many, including Mr. Cook, followed this order.

As Cook was walking away (according to a lawsuit Cook has filed) Ryan Wingo fired a bean bag at him. Cook then required emergency surgery to get parts of the bean bag removed from him, two other surgeries, and suffered injury to his jaw, teeth, and face.

Afterwards, Arkansas police filed an affidavit, in which they alleged that Cook walked towards the police with his fists clenched in a "threatening way". A great sign that this affidavit is not accurate to the actual events that occur is that they describe Cook as wearing an outfit that video shows he was not wearing that night.

However, importantly, this affidavit was filed a year after the incident. Cook went home from the hospital a free man, where he filed a complaint to get the state to cover some of his medical bills.

As the Arkansas times puts it:

All of this because Ryan Wingo's a dickhead

In 2021, we get another Wingo story that is partially morally grey.

On June 2nd 2021, Timothy Andrew Kemp was riding a motorcycle on U.S 70 when Ryan Wingo attempted to pull him over, Kemp refused to do this, resulting in a chase. Kemp was eventually cornered, and ran into a wooded area.

It is important to note that Arkansas State troopers are not required to wear bodycams, and I've been unable to find dashcam footage of the incident.

However the state and Wingo allege that Wingo chased Kemp into the woods, Wingo attempted to tase Kemp but ended up somehow tasing himself.

Michelle Lawrence, a county prosecutor who cleared Wingo of any wrongdoing in the incident said of the dashcam footage "you could hear what was going on from the car video. They were that close to the car. Actually, not that close, but you could hear what was going on, you could hear the entire struggle from the car. It was a very lengthy struggle. We timed it and it was a little over three minutes."

Wingo then apparently said "give me my gun" to Kemp soon before shooting him to death.

Finally, we have an incident that happened last year, where Wingo was driving along the highway when a car going in the opposite direction sped past him. Wingo attempted to make a U-turn without any indication. Charles Donner, who was driving a ways behind him, honked his horn, which caused Wingo to give up on chasing the speeding vehicle, turn his lights on, and pull over Donner.

Donner pulled into the right lane of the road, slowly coming to a stop, and Wingo proceeded to crash his patrol car into the back of Donners. He then told Donner and his wife Brittany to pull into an empty parking lot.

Wingo explained that he pulled them over because Donner was riding the patrol car too close (in car camera footage shows this to be false) and because Donner brake checked Wingo (dashcam footage shows this to also be false). Donner, a military veteran with PTSD, then rightly told Wingo repeatedly to go fuck himself while complying with Wingos traffic stop.

But then hearing the word fuck hurt wingos feewings :( so he proceeded to drag Donner out of his car, cuff him, and drag him to the back of his patrol car.

Now the best part about the dashcam video is that Wingo called for back up, and the back up proceeds to explain to Donner what he did wrong after Wingo tells them his version of events. Donner explains that that's not what happened, that he and his wife both agree that that's not what happened, and the back up refuse to listen to him.

Donner was not arrested, but he was given a citation. Donner and his wife are now suing on the grounds of violation of civil rights

This incident is where we get the lovely little photo of Wingo.

Ryan Wingo is a dangerous man who should not be given any power, as all cops are.

As of right now Wingo still has his job, and a little over a thousand people have signed a petition asking for his termination (which probably will not happen)

[drunkeddiediaz]

Ryan might be Oliver first true friend. 😂

Not too much on my boy Oliver😭 I’m sure he has other good friends like his Texas friends. It can’t be easy for him though he moved to USA in his mid 20s. Even harder when you’re over 30 all your friends have their own lives some married some have kids. When he said he can’t make friends easily cause of his social anxiety I get him so bad I want to hug him. Happy for him that he made some great friends on 911 cast, especially Ryan they seem to get along really well.

[sessa23]

Revelations: Part 5 (13th Doctor x Dhawan!master x reader)

(Summary: While relaxing at the spa,The Doctor and The Fam have an an unusual sense of peace and serenity. Confessions are made and secrets revealed but just how long will the peace last for the fam?)

Yaz and yourself were both laying on spa beds she turned to you "it's nice to have a break like this." You nodded in agreement "yeah, it's great to not have something or someone wanting to kill us for once."

Yaz thought for a moment before speaking "Are you still thinking about O or well the Master?" A sigh left you "I can't believe that he turned out to be a villian." Yaz nodded "I know what you mean. He seemed so..." she trailed off before you interrupted "kind, sweet, charming?" Yaz looked at you "Let's not think about him" you nodded in agreement, but then you felt the urge to check your pockets. Breathing a sigh of relief when your music box was still there, you got it out your pocket and looked at it.

"What's that?" Yaz questioned as she looked at the music box in your hand. "Oh this. This was a music box given to me by my parents. They had it made to look like the music box from that movie Anastasia." Yaz looked at the music box closer "it even has the part to unlock the box with the necklace." You nodded "yeah, unfortunately i lost the necklace a long time ago." You put the music box back in your pocket just as the Doctor came in along with Graham and Ryan.

"This is a nice break" Ryan stated, Graham turned to the doctor "so nice and quite." You groaned inside, everyone knows that when it's quite you don't comment on the fact that it's quiet. Ryan looked at his grandfather and smiled "yes it very relaxing, do we have to leave?" Ryan asked. The Doctor nodded "yes but for now we can relax for a while longer."

The Doctor walked over to you and sat down next to you. Yaz looked at Ryan and Graham "Let's go over to the balcony I've heard that we get some beautiful views of the planet." She said as she got off the spa bed. Ryan looked at them "Come on guys let's go Graham and Yaz went to walk out, the doctor turned to you. "Y/N is everything okay?" She asked

"Doctor I can't help but feel that something big is coming and we're all in danger." You whispered not wanting to cause fear for your friends. The doctor looked at you she didn't want to worry you but she was going to do her best to comfort you. "what ever is coming we'll all face it together,like we always do" She replied, you looked back down at your hands "there's something else..." you desperately wanted to tell the doctor that the master was back but you couldn't so you settled for the next best thing "Do you think that we'll have to face the master again?"

The doctor sighed "the Master has come back from death many times. It won't be long before we see him again." She spoke "Oh great just fricking great" You muttered before you up to the doctor and smiled at her"You're really easy to talk to...I still don't understand why but I just want to tell you."

The Doctor smiled "I get that a lot." She stood up "come on. Let's go join the others."

Little did anyone know that in an unknown part of the universe. Someone was up to no good.The blue faced alien was sitting on a chair in a cell. "we both want the same thing. Why don't we destroy them together and do it now?"

A figure was standing in the shadows "as tempting as that sounds, I already have plans for those two pesky time lords. They will be perfect for what I have planned." The blue faced alien thought for a moment before talking again "as for the one who did this" he then pointed to the deformity on his face "what of them?"

The hidden figure showed a device to the blue faced alien "my agents are searching for them, we'll find them and I have special plans for them, I'll play my part. You just have to play yours. Now do we understand each other?"

The blue alien grinned "I'll need to acquire some things, in fact several things. I'll need to start a list and find a way out if this prison." The figure smirked "that I can help with."

[heartsbreaking-migrated]

okay weewoo show season finale thoughts spoilers obviously please use your eyes because im not spoiler tagging this because i dont want it to breach containment if you haven't seen the finale simply do not click the read more

i missed ravi and may more than life itself it wasn't a great tv finale but it wasn't anywhere near got s8 (i know its not the end of the show but this is my point of comparison okay)

first of all the daddy kink debate going on in the tags is so funny to me as if this show ISNT MADE BY THE SAME PEOPLE THAT MADE FUCKING GLEE! GET A GRIP! there was NEVER going to be a time when this show is dead serious tm. there is always going to be a level of camp garbage to it, but y'all aren't ready for that discussion. actually this point doesn't just apply to the daddy kink thing, but the whole show. this isn't prestige tv. we're not watching succession here, we're watching a prime time soap opera set at a fire house.

acab. i love athena as a person but i'm honestly not a fan of her character arc in this show.

loved being right all along about amir. i knew in my heart that man could not hurt a fly.

idc how unrealistic maddie and chimney being approved as emergency foster placements that quick probably is they're everything to me and i really want more of the hen/karen & maddie/chimney joint family next season! more of that and less cop athena plots pls. (i know i'm harping on it but i really can't stand cop shows and as much as i love angela bassett i want less of athena)

i actually think eddie letting chris go with his grand parents was mature as hell. like i'm sorry dude, you fucked around and found out. i feel bad for him for not having processed his grief but i think allowing knockoff shanon (i forgot her name okay) into his house and into his life at all was a dick move on ALL fronts. i'm glad he and chris have a support system sure wished he used it more instead of putting all his grief on a fucking stranger (i also really hated this plot it was dumb and stupid and really ryan murphy core)

anywho favorite moments of the episode were may showing up, maddie calling herself 'maddie han' and jee walking in holding mara's hand.

i'm not going to rant about how much i hate 90% of the people in the fandom who aren't in the rpc. you can unlock that rant by adding me on disco cause jesus christ the people in the tags deserve jail time.

hottest take i just came up with, i think this show should be moved to a streaming exclusive and make the episodes longer. i honestly think the biggest handicap of this show is the amount of time they have. the seasons are SHORT which is the trend now for prestige tv but like i said this ain't it. an hour of 9/1/1 without commercials would really give the show room to breath cause truly when you watch it with commercials you realize how little run time it actually has. there was one point mid episode where there was ONE SCENE and then it cut to commercial again. like thats nasty.

[ewzzy]

I haven't made a real list, but since I spend all my time reading comics here's a top ten for 2022. (no particular order) First up is Kyle Starks' I Hate This Place. Kyle is always the best and a couple inheriting a farm only to find out it's haunted by ghosts/aliens/demons/cyptids/everything is a great hook.

Next up is the new Amazing Spider-Man series that brings back writer Zeb Wells and artist John Romita Jr. They're two of the best to ever do Spider-Man and as they tend to do they drag him through the mud along the way.

Adjacent to Spider-Man is Jed Mackay doing more Black Cat stories. He's writing the Moon Knight, Black Cat, and Dr Strange series and has proven to be one of the best and most prolific writers in the Marvel bullpen. Here's a bit from Mary Jane & Black Cat: Beyond.

Too bad for Jed but this was the year Chip Zdarsky hit homer after home with so many great series. Daredevil, Stillwater, Public Domain, and two Batman series that are all comic of the year level. It's been crazy watching the comedy guy known for Sex Criminals become the most prized writer at the big two. Nobody but Chip gets to write Batman and work for Marvel at the same time.

I've been going on and on about writers but the recent Poison Ivy series is all about artist Marcio Takara. I normally wouldn't give a series like this a chance but it's a beautiful horror comic where a lot of folks get torn apart by fungal spores.

I also wouldn't have touched a Harley Quinn series but Riley Rossmo's art will get me to read anything. He just started a new Robin series where Tim Drake is living in a boat house and working as a private eye. So far so good!

I don't care about the Eternals or Avengers and keeping up with the X-Men is exhausting but the A.X.E. Judgement Day event was great. Basically the superheroes create a new god and it decides to judge everyone on earth individually. If it does the math and we're mostly bad the earth goes bye bye. Captain America is the first to get a thumbs down and everyone collectively goes "oh so we're fucked right?" Then when the Eternals wake up some old war machines one reads the whole internet and becomes the secret admirer of a single human writer.

As I said X-Men is exhausting, but it was worth it to get all the jokes in X-Men '92 House of XCII which retells the last few years of X-Men comics as if they were adapted to the 90s cartoon.

A much clearer X-Men comic was Giant-Size X-Men: Thunderbird. He was the first X-Man to die for the cause and now that mutants can be resurrected he's back and not sure he wants to be a part of it anymore. It's co-written by trans native-american pro wrestler Nyla Rose and I was expecting very little but it's great.

Guess this is my last one. I have been shocked by how good the Punisher: King of Killers series is. Writer Jason Aaron and artists Jeus Saiz & Paul Azaceta bounce between two art styles & times. The present where Frank Castle is worshipped as history's greatest killer by ninja assassin cult, The Hand, and the past where we discover he first killed at age 10 and how his family dying was never what made him the Punisher. It's also an allegory about how The Punisher isn't cool and you shouldn't like him and anyone who would use his skull logo unironically is dumb.

Sorry TMNT Armageddon Game, One-Star Squadron, Superman The Warworld Saga, X-Terminators, My Bad, Billionaire Island: Cult of Dogs, World's Finest, and everyone else from this year but I've run out of time and space. Look forward to Spider-Man/X-Men Dark Web on next year's list alongside both of Ryan North's new comics Secret Invasion and Fantastic Four.

[which-hospital]

How do you think they'll reveal that Max is Jodie's dad? I had assumed that it would be too do with the rumours but now I have 3 theories and I need to talk to someone about it lol.

Theory 1 - It does just get revealed because one of them gets sick of the rumours.

Theory 2 - It gets revealed because of the situation with Stevie, I can't see Jodie being able to keep her mistake quiet long. So maybe she says something to Stevie which unravels everything.

Theory 3 - In the latest trailer there's a few scenes where it seems like Max is running? Maybe something happens with Jodie and it will get revealed in a sort of life/death situation.

Any ideas yourself? :)

Thank you so much for the ask! I’m just realising how little I’ve considered the way they’re going to reveal the Max and Jodie stuff. For a while I thought that maybe, seeing as Cam was the first person Ryan told about this stuff, they’d progress the Jodie and Cam relationship stuff a bit and then Cam would accidentally mention it causing some classic Casualty relationship drama but now the rumour has gone round the hospital, I guess it won’t be that. I still think it’s possible that the Cam and Ryan stuff could come into it in some way, though. I also think your theories are great! (More below the cut because I was rambling, lol.)

Out of your theories, I think 1 makes the most sense for how people actually act. Me and my one friend who also watches the show have been saying since this storyline started that we wouldn’t last a minute without yelling he’s my dad!!?!!? if a rumour like that was going around about us.

But then, Casualty kind of relies on characters not always responding to things in the way most real people would and it feels like they’re really building up to this reveal, so I think 2 or 3 might be more likely. I can really see 2 happening because, like you said, I can’t imagine Jodie being able to keep it to herself for long without feeling bad about it and it also seems like Stevie really likes Jodie and is super supportive of her (in comparison to the other baby nurses), so I feel like that would add to it. Plus, Stevie seems to have a bit of a thing for Max and I feel like that could come into it considering the rumour that’s going around.

I also think 3 is very likely. There is that clip of him running that you mentioned and we’ve also already seen how he responds to Jodie being in danger (most obviously in Keep Breathing) - for all that he might not be a brilliant dad, he clearly cares about her in those cases. As far as we're aware, he’s her only family, right? (I might be getting that wrong but I know her mum is dead.) I feel like, if she was in serious danger or seriously hurt in some way, he’d want to be there for her and be so worried about her that he’d have to reveal that he’s her dad. Honestly, I really hope this is the direction the writers go in. I’ve probably mentioned it on here before but I absolutely LOVE a complex father-daughter relationship - on my main blog the two characters I talk about constantly are both girls with complex relationships with their fathers (coincidentally, one of them is also hiding the fact that her dad is her dad), it is one of my favourite things to see in media. And I think that what both of those characters have with their fathers that Jodie and Max don’t quite have yet is the sense that despite everything he might’ve done, he’s still her dad and he loves her and she knows that - I’m getting more of a sense that Max does love her lately but I don’t think Jodie really realises that and a reveal along the line of your third theory could really make that clear to her and hopefully improve things between them. 

ty again for the ask, now you've got me properly wondering how they might go about this! (:

[the-firebird69]

This is the guy who has been following our son around hooting and hollering yelling and screaming. Just got done yelling earlier this morning to distract our son as he's riding his bike and he died and they're not going to revive him we don't think they're still fighting over his carcass to get his stuff and you're turning into nasty pigs. They go after anybody with anything. . This brings us to an interesting topic. John remillard is the worst kidnapper in history our son is walking up to him walking right in front of him in his face pissing him off nothing happens the guy walks off mud terrain with his groceries getting hot in the Sun because he was moved my others cursing out everybody Ryan's off in the minivan that we're going to get that we're going to take and he says this I don't know what he's saying or why they said why don't you shut up you're already coming after us meaning you and me because of you because why he says he wants to minivan so he's got an idea cuz he's doing nothing other than getting ideas on how to get rid of us so they heard the idea and said wow that's not good it's great cover and they're trying it out there occasionally so we're going to use it secondly

-this guy is one of several mainstream morlock very popular somewhat powerful higher ranking and he is a regiont and there weren't too many that have died they are just taking over other jobs and they're taking over a lot of government positions until it halted last week and this one he had for a long time in New Mexico is a place that they need monitoring and they're going to weaken and they need that pretty badly he was a bastard and a mean person and allows and it won't be here until you lost and low life and he won't be missed. He's a bja and the other pretty similar he had his own stuff and it was nasty and he was running New Mexico and Mac wants it back and they didn't kill him he died on his own that's not true they helped it along but these people are fighting and that are at War. Besides being a bum he put forward several plans and he put forward several laws and more New Mexico that are bogus and 20 years ago and those laws are going to come off and his people will die rapidly when they find out what they've been doing with them and his death has caused his plan to get attacked from within and from the outside he's despicable and he really needed to die and he's running around town for years bothering our son like a little f**** and a son challenge him a few times and the guy got his ass handed to him so he kept coming back like a little stupid retarded sick dog and is dead permanently others are going to follow him shortly. As our son and daughter pointed out the higher-ups are dying but this is the first in the series okay this is the first region it has died in a long time and it's been a year and their highest kites they need this badly and they start to kill each other and it's needed badly and they're going to go down because people see it and can't stand them it is a repulsive thing that they do running around town like little kids little b****** being b****** to our son on and on and John remillard is going to get killed today and we have a plan it's in a movie and he doesn't seem to care it's like American psycho no that's the movie people kill him like 50 times in the movie it's only 2 days long we're watching him cringe because he knows about the plot and he knows how things go you can see his face in the movie doesn't look happy and he's a bomb and he deserves it and it starts rolling into Batman and we need that to take place too there's a lot of s*** heads in New York and a lot of devices and with them gone they don't get triggered mostly

-he came up with his thought and he thought it before a little bit but it wasn't complete and it's kind of like this

: if he had money he would attract attention

: if he had a bunch of money you'd attract negative attention

: if you had a bunch of money from a specific source that was a known larger business it would attract a lot of attention

: if he had money from an invention it would attract an enormous amount of attention

: if he had money from a weapon invention it would attract way too much attention and he'd be an actual trouble and that's why he's avoiding receiving decent amounts of money he knows that all these people around him are taking the hits and The Max are aware that they're doing that and it's part of their game but these people are big huge assholes they want a kidnap him and they run around being a little girls all day and night and have absolutely no game and are not motivated at all

: there's one more point and it's this these people treat our son like he's nobody and did nothing and has no roots no support no protection and everybody is telling them not to do stuff to him and around him and near him against him or even for him they don't want them here and they keep hearing it and they don't seem to understand it. Now we're not saying to tie an invention money to him at all but we're saying that these people need a lesson in respect and her son is getting mistreated and humbled and belittled and berated and threatened and harassed all the time and mainly by the same people who need a lesson and they need to leave this is one method of getting the hell out of here you'll see what it's like and what the excuses are in the verbiage and the code and the language and it's probably why they're not doing it

It's one big main reason yes

Thor Freya

That's not why.. and he says what that he says WTF dudet, and I say this the above is true and we don't do it because we're weak stupid lame crass and maybe we know the math no we didn't have much to do with inventions but we're right there but people know we don't so it's kind of odd maybe we know that they come pouring in which they might do more more so to the max not really sure why the hell we're so stupid but we are

T cheeseman

Well I'm not a crackhead but I might be Gus gets trying to sell to me so I go buy cocaine and no it's not my name but here it is the above sounds enticing I was sitting here threatening him for no reason and people know who he is and what he does and we're dying secretly why not maybe make it public. Really what he says is the max will probably pay for it and their chicken s*** too so really what we say is we're the ones here they might go after us he's getting money which doesn't make sense so I'm starting to figure out something we were in these government roles and we're stupid and people won't get out of the government roles and we're not really in the government up there in DC no we are but he says that people know that we're not inventors and it's been tested so I'm going to ask Terry cheesman with the test went like boy that's enticing and I'm saying is dead and stuff and said why don't I just have you killed now so I don't think so but great

Trump

We're going to prison and she tried something when you said was it should direct it to them eventually but we might open our mouths and say we invented everything what can people really do

Dan

It's horrible cuz we might be saying that yeah we want to try it cuz we think it goes against the max. What he says is it's government money they're running the government then the empire and stop digging around and being little babies and they think your insulation and by the way it's part of your kidnapping Mo he says and we don't have anything going on and that was him we have no idea what to do we're driving around circles around spinning some stupid s*** he says horrendous things and nothing happens. We used to live in the Land of Make Believe I can't believe I'm saying this but he has no ties to anything and it doesn't mean anything to us

Bg

You need to make some ties to something we need to and we have to decide which and these guys might come up with something but boy these stupid and slow

Thor Freya

Usually we have to suggest it or it won't happen

They're running around threatening him they know he's the inventor but there's no real proof and so people just ignore them and guys get the idea and he's trying to get the checks cut cuz it's the government and they're hardly there

Frank Castle Hardcastle

We have a few things to say and Garth is responding to the idea and so they don't want to do it that's why I'm putting a email out whatever you call it September 1 and it shows pretty clearly so he says he has another thing to add

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

Have you ever seen how he acts what he really does is talking to your ladies saying you should go do this and that probably get them free tickets to Disney. He goes to the neighborhood and walk in and buy a bunch of stuff and not even blink it doesn't matter if we think it's real or not no it's what we think to get us to do stuff

Garth

Olympus so he's acting real high cuz he is and he can't believe the words coming out of his mouth that f***** is as arrogant as hell he's saying and I can't stand it myself I have to see it in my son says you'll see it

[castle-dominion]

Crack fic I'm sorry & SO not edited or designed to be a real fic. I just don't rly care. This is just bc smth funny popped into my head. I did not write this out of pride, I wrote it bc I thought it was funny.

Once upon a time I was liveblogging & thought an insane thought.

Ryan popped up from the floor. It was dark & rather than turning on the lights, they were using flashlights to search the boiler room in the basement of where some hacker-not-hooker was found dead in the water tank on the roof. 

Ryan, annoyed, complained, “Man. This was Castle’s theory. How did we draw the short straw?”

“I don’t know,” Esposito said. He took the opportunity of conversation to ask a question that had been bugging him. “Let me ask you something.” He turned off his flashlight. “You notice anything weird about Beckett?”

Ryan was unsure what his partner was referring to. “What do you mean?”

Esposito jumped on a heater unit to get closer to the ceiling. “Well, she’s- she’s different.” Esposito’s non-specific explanation causes Ryan to look up at him. “Something’s off.”

The recent concerns over whether or not he himself was perceptibly different came bubbling to the surface. “What are you saying? Like she’s --pregnant?”

Esposito sharply looked down from the heater unit in startledness. “What are you talking about? Where did that even come from?”

 It seemed like Javier was talking about their friend, it did not seem like he was just using a third party as an analog for Kevin. “Well, you said she was acting different. They’re consenting adults–..” 

Javier adamantly argued, “Beckett is not pregnant. Come on, man.” He went back to running his hands along the top of the ductwork, which used actual duct tape which is like sticky aluminum foil NOT DUCK TAPE WHICH IS BAD FOR DUCTS & NOT MEANT TO BE USED ON DUCTS.

Feeling hurt, (especially considering- if they were trying -that they were trying,) Ryan pointed out, “What’s so wrong with being pregnant?”

I can’t decide whether they were trying to have a kid or not. If they were then he says this in a hurt/sad way. If they were not then maybe.. idk. They would probably be having safe sex tho so they would HAVE to be trying to have a kid meaning ryan would probably be off testosterone. Oh also I forgot whether I wanted this to be trans or if I wanted this to be magic mpreg bc it is already crack. Annoyed, (or sad,) Javi shook his head & said, “You know, I can’t even talk to you about this right now.”

Definitely feeling hurt at this point, Ryan said [sort of like mumbling but clear, interjecting but not interrupting, mentioning offhand but it is a continuation of the conversation, I can’t find a word that means “said” in the way I intend], “Okay. Well, um,, try to get over it before I tell you the (good) news, okay?” I don’t know if Ryan is trans or if this is an au where mpreg is possible, I don’t know if they were trying to have a baby or if it was an accident but Ryan felt nervous & a little bit scared, & definitely excited & anticipatory when he told Esposito that he had news relating to being pregnant. 

Kevin was staring at Javi’s face after implying he was pregnant & got to see the shock slap on there & smiled.

“What?” Javier asked.

Kevin grinned wider in response. 

Still unbelieving, “Are you serious?” & his partner really was. “Wowwww! Congratulations, Precioso! That’s great!”

Kevin could not stop smiling. “Thanks, Ducky.”

Javier crouched & hopped to the ground to envelop his sweetheart in a warm, proud embrace.

well I hope you enjoyed the crack that took me way too long. I used to hate crack & I still kind of dislike it but it is funny.